What You've Lost(Where You Go From Here)
by LastOneOut
Summary: "I...I didn't want to see it anymore." she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She brought her bandaged arm up, her fingers running lightly over the space right above her elbow where the words she knew by heart still burned into her skin. 'Look Again' written in elegant red cursive. His cursive. "It just...reminds me of him. I don't want to be reminded anymore."


_"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." - Proverb_

* * *

When Clint walked into the hospital room, his heart nearly stopped. Wanda lay, her eyes closed, her left arm bandaged beyond recognition. She had an IV in her arm, dripping a cocktail of drugs and saline into her system, helping her heal by helping her sleep.

"She's resting now, but she should wake up in a few hours, when she's more stable. Then we can get her in the cradle and start patching up the damage." Dr. Cho said coming into the room behind him.

"What happened?" He asked.

"As far as I can tell, its her one of her soulmarks. She tried to remove it." She replied, her gaze dropping.

"What?"

"Its fairly common," she added, walking over to Wanda and checking her IV, "In people who have lost a soulmate." Helen was good at acting professional, almost too good, but in the years since Ultron's defeat the avengers had become like a family to her, and Wanda's condition worried her deeply.

"We don't know a whole lot about them, but they tend to stick around, even when the person doesn't want them to. I think it might be a good idea for her to start seeing Sam regularly. Vision...the loss has hit us all hard but Wanda has already been through so much..."

"I think you're probably right," Clint sighed, running his hand through his hair, "I'll see what we can do about that when she's out of here."

"Good." Helen glanced at Wanda one last time before heading for the door, "I'll be back to check up on her in a few hours, call me is she wakes up before then."

"Will do." he called, settling into the chair at her bedside. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

When Wanda woke several hours later, Clint was just walking into the room, two cups of steaming coffee in his hands. Her eyes met his for a brief moment before she looked away, her gaze drifting anywhere but at him.

Clint walked over to her bedside. He quickly pulled her table over and set her coffee on it, before settling down in his chair and taking a quick sip of his.

"Ugh, do you think it would kill them to make coffee that didn't suck?" he said, making a face at his drink. Wanda shrugged, making no move to touch hers.

"You've been out for about 6 hours." She shrugged again. Clint sighed, putting his coffee down.

"Wanda look-"

"I don't want to talk about it." She said, cutting him off.

"Wan-"

"I said I don't want to talk about it!" She shouted suddenly, red wisps flaring up around her. Her drink flew from its spot and splattered against the wall. She huffed, crossing her good arm across her chest.

"Aww, coffee...come on." Clint muttered under his breath, before turing his attention back to Wanda.

"Wanda Im not trying to upset you. Im not mad or anything. But I am worried. I want to help." He reached out for her shoulder, stopping just short of it when she flinched away.

"Please, Wanda, talk to me."

She continued glaring, her face hidden by her hair, but as hard as she tried not too she eventually began to break.

"I...I didn't want to see it anymore." she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She brought her bandaged arm up, her fingers running lightly over the space right above her elbow where the words she knew by heart still burned into her skin. 'Look Again' written in elegant red cursive. His cursive.

"It just...reminds me of him. I don't want to be reminded anymore."

"Oh Wanda..." He sighed, gently putting his arm around her.

Her shoulders began to shake, her voice breaking as she continued, "I can't...he..." She turned into him, her good hand clutching his shirt, "Why does everyone I love leave me?" she cried, finally breaking down. Clint pulled her in closer, rubbing her back gently as she sobbed, humming quietly.

When her tears calmed to quiet hiccups and her breaths finally evened, Clint pulled away, grabbing a tissue to help wipe her face.

"Hey, thats ok. I know, its tough." She looked down, "But you haven't lost everyone. You've still got me and the others, I know we aren't always the best at showing it but we care about you. Really."

Tears quickly clouded Wanda's eyes, but nodded and quickly wiped them away, "Thank you." she said, her voice hoarse.

"How about this, when you get out of here why don't you come stay at the farm for a while? Im sure Laura and the kids would be happy to have you. Give yourself a bit of a break?"

At that Wanda finally smiled, "I think I would like that."

* * *

Over the next few days Wanda spent time in-between cradle sessions bombarded by visitors. Sam brought her an empty journal and suggested that she start keeping her thoughts and agreeing that time with Clint's family would be good for her.

Thor, Steve and Natasha brought her baskets of her favorite snacks and after a bone-crushing hug from Thor(one Steve was only semi-reluctanly dragged into by Nat) Wanda spent the day playing cards, using chocolate pieces for betting and laughing at her friend's banter. On her last day in the hospital she woke up surrounded by flowers, accompanied by a card wishing her well signed by Tony and Pepper. She smiled at Tony's silly jokes and music recommendations(she once might have scowled and disregarded anything he said but Vision had helped her learn to forgive and accept, and she was glad of that).

As she was changing out of her hospital gown she stopped, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She could see Vision's handwriting, still standing out against her skin. She ran her hand over it, before reaching and feeling the light blue tree that stretched across her back, perfectly matching the red one her brother had. She sighed, perhaps one day she would look to these and not be reminded of her loss, but of the happy memories she had. It would be hard she knew, but as she fondly gazed at the black A covered in vines right above her heart, she was sure she would make it, and that she wouldn't be alone.

* * *

 _Fin_


End file.
